Friday, May 18, 2012

Tip #8: Avoid Fifty Shades of Anything

I'll keep this relatively brief. There's a book by E L James called 50 Shades of Grey about a virgin who becomes sexually involved with an older billionaire with a bdsm fetish. If you're interested in the book and haven't read it, stop now. If you don't care or need to satisfy your curiosity, read on.

I have to gripe about a few things in this book that trouble me about the main character:
1) She enters a friends-with-benefits situation with the intention to change the male character's 'commitment issues' and physical boundaries.
2) They engage in bdsm without her being properly prepped on safety procedures or being fully aware of what she will experience. Believe it or not, the bdsm community DOES have standards and safety procedures...
3) She accepts that her 'white knight's' controlling/demanding/stalker ways as part of bdsm, as well as their relationship. Its so pervasive, and she never questions the abnormality or frightening behavior on his part.

To drive my point home, there was a recent case (coincidence?) non-affectionately dubbed the “Philadelphia Incident”, where a young inexperienced woman got involved with an older man into bdsm who, without prepping her bound/restrained her then orally raped her. For more on this, please check out this link: http://hidingfromsomeone.tumblr.com/post/22270527450/fifty-shades-the-philadelphia-incident-im-not

I feel concerned for her target audience TWILIHT FANS (this book was originally a twilight fanfiction) which are mostly young virginal impressionable women smitten with the idea of being shown what love is like, except this book is more like a MISguide to getting into an abusive controlling relationship. The likelyhood that a girl will apply this book's assumed rules to real life and end up in a kinky/happy relationship is slim/unlikely ..

With that said, here's Tip #8: Do your research on what you read before experimenting.

'Try it before you buy it' comes to mind.

With the exception of a massive amount of grammatical errors, superfluous details, and British lingo (there should be none; the story takes place in Seattle), this book is a nice easy read, for those who love smutty romantic novels. As a not-so-young-and-impressionable-woman, I rather enjoyed it. Id suggest borrowing it if you can, since an advanced reader or someone with more experience in relationships is likely to experience buyer's remorse.

Until next time..

Peace, blessedness, and light.

No comments:

Post a Comment